Posted by Ivan Rendall on 15 December 2015 in Blogging
Scenario Uno: Lynda Snell has another inspired idea – Helen to fill in for Carol in Calendar Girls! (Pregnant and bare-breasted in the kitchen, eh?)
Scenario Dos: Helen has heart-to-heart with Ian who (can’t think where Ian got the idea from) starts stirring up Helen’s relationship with El Robo Controllio.
Scenario Tres: The play is a great success and Helen is voted BBC Woman’s Hour “Woman of the Year.”
Scenario Quattro: Robo is so angry, he finally looses it and locks her up in the house threatening her with “consequences” if she tries to escape.
Scenario Cinco; Helen is struck down with pre-eclampsia, or worse, as a result of the stress; she calls Ian, not Robo, who rushes her to hospital.
Senario Seis: Helen is unconscious and the doctor says “her husband will have to choose between his wife and his unborn child.” One could die to save the other.
Scenario Siete: Ian calls Rob and says he has to know NOW which Rob will save; Rob, predictably, says “my son, of course”.
Scenario Ocho: The superwoman doctor saves Helen and the child, and Helen wakes up in time to name him Ian Adam Archer-Titchener before Robo reaches the hospital.
Scenario Nueve: Robo and Ian do not leave the hospital together, but Robo is never seen or heard of again. Police efforts to trace him are half-hearted – surprise!
Scenario Diez*: Ambridge is flooded again in 2016, not as badly (thanks to the Paris Agreement!), but just enough to wash the soil off a shallow grave on the banks of the Am where Robo’s bleached skeleton is found with a broken and severely mangled jaw and a pitchfork buried in his back.
*Four pints of Shires for anybody who can spot the Spanish Connection